With the announcement of the statement for live-in relationships in India defined as ‘Right to life’, there seems to be a social impetus which makes me pen down my flowing thoughts about the changing times. You are free to share your ideas and feelings about this arrangement and give wings to this budding dimension.
It was a peppy Sunday morning and as I was browsing through the newspaper I came across a news snippet at the center bottom that got me catching up with a cheerful bubbly couple ‘Sai and Rahul’ who well were living together but not in a so-called much accepted traditional pattern. I had my own perceptions towards live-in couples and this couple enchanted me totally…it reminded me of the verse ‘Rakh loon banaa ke kahin ghar mei tujhe saath tere main hi rahoon’.
It was exciting to hear Sai and Rahul share about how they actually got together and the way in which their relation grew each day with a sense of responsibility, care, respect, and achieving clarity where they wanted to take their relation, most importantly securing each other’s individuality without getting poked by unnecessary issues. He seemed to be focused, determined and courageous and she was rational, grounded and realistic. Even though what was seen was a harmonious picture, there were certain loops that were discussed related to habits, beliefs, reactions, being committed from multiple dating partners to choosing a wider range of locations, sharing the expenses etc.
I wondered over the whole concept of a live-in relation that revolves around the fact that a man and a woman accept openly the presence of the other person in their life and at the same time they are ready to commit to a relationship even though there are no legal and social angles to it. If marriage is all about the future then live in relationship is about the present. In today’s world most people live far away from their families to pursue their profession and they invariably tend to give priority to their professional aspirations as compared to any personal commitments which leads to finding a partner who also is treading the same path and then they decide to move in together without jumping on any future commitments. What am coming to is that any relation you have, be it a marriage or live-in requires continuous nurturing and the purpose of coming together needs to be sustained beyond materialistic gains…Identifying and acknowledging the reason for staying together -as only being with each other…sounds too cliché? It is true in some cases a live in relation may be a precursor to marriage but that may not always be the case. Couples during these changing times can sustain their relationship if they are able to meet their relationship strengths and surpass their relationship hurdles and make their chosen way of life more meaningful and happening rather than ‘only living’ due to social or legal obligations.
-Niv
